January 11, 2007
Stealing someone else's stuff
I realized tonight that I have some really snarky things to say about some people that I don't want to post here for fear that they might read it and be offended. It's not that I fear offending people, but these specific people are not ones I want to hurt, and believe me it probably would hurt, and I want to be nice.
So, with that totally irrelevant intro in mind I will steal the Shrug format of quasi-anonymous statements to people who may or may not read this blog. None of them involve the snark referenced in the previous paragraph, so don't look for it.
A: I'm sorry dude, but I really do not want to fuck you. Please don't take this personally because it's all me. I'm tremendously picky. It's not that I don't like you, because I do - I just don't want to get all crazy naked with you. Too much weirdness.
E: I'm not going to argue semantics with you because you don't even know what that means. Just because I'm younger than you doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm sorry that the way I use language is confusing to you.
I: I would really like to be friends with you, but your SO kind of gets in the way of it. Nothing involved, it's not like I want to hang out constantly and have in depth conversations all the time. I just want us to be on a friendly level. I think we kind of are right now, but it's hard to say, and the whole thing with your SO makes certain fuctup situations occur that I just don't know how to deal with. There is no way I can say any of this to your face, I'm sorry.
O: I have said some tremendously fuctup things about you. I am basically sorry about it, because it is fuctup and wrong, but it's funny as hell and I doubt I will stop doing it. I'd say it's not personal, because other than that I think you're pretty cool and a worthwhile person, but it is personal, terribly mean, and if you knew you would probably hit me. I should keep my mouth shut.
U: You, on the other hand, I do want to fuck. I want to fuck your brains out, scoop them up, and fuck them right back in. I want to dart you and keep you for a weekend. A 3-day weekend, and you may have to go home late afterwards. You will be dehydrated. None of this will happen though, and I'm over that brief awkward stage, so it's all cool now. If it looks like I'm aiming a hollow bamboo stalk at you, don't stand still.
Sometimes Y: I totally agree with you and the past should remain in the past. Things are better the way they are now.
Posted by damyano at January 11, 2007 02:03 AM