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March 06, 2007
Thou shalt not snark
Sometimes these jesusy people really do not realize when they're being stupid. See, I checked out this game on Newgrounds called Armor Trigger. It's done by some folks who call themselves Godlimations, and they always use some bible verse thing for their loading bar that when it's done it says "Receive it" and you click on that and your game starts.
No, I'm not bitching about that. Honestly I don't care what your spiritual outlook is when you make these little transient bits of entertainment. If you put enough of that thing in your game that it annoys me I'll quit playing, but generally I just let it pass because I really don't care. No, here's what gets me - midway through the game (which isn't all that great, btw) if you're playing it on easy (which is represented by the girl, another beef I have) your character meets up with some girl who she believes is after her man (who is the character you play on hard). This girl, Missy is her name, tells you that she isn't after your man but instead has found another guy named Nerdy. But no, the character can't just take that - she makes a smarmy comment and then she takes things into her own hands.
That's right, she gets into a gun battle with her competition and murders her! (It says so right in the game - "Defeat Missy, finish her life.") Wow, after all that bible shit you people threw into the opening credits you would think maybe a little "Thou shalt not kill" might end up somewhere in the game. And it's not like the murder was justified - it's just some girl offing another girl because she suspects she's after her man. It's not only murderous and anti-christian - it's misogynist!
I haven't played it on the hard setting yet, so there is a slight chance that this will all be rectified in the eyes of the male character. But even so, that's a bunch of bullshit. Now I know this isn't something that should be taken even slightly seriously, and I don't. Personally I think this is entirely hilarious. But if I were to meet any of these Godlimations people, and they were to give me even the slightest bit of shit about my godless existence, I have right here the proof that at least I don't shit directly on my own doctrine.
[update]
Oh ho HO! Guess what you gotta do when you play this on hard? See, it turns out that Missy is indeed Nerdy's girlfriend, because Nerdy is setting up fireworks for her. But when you play the male (hard setting) character, your midway meetup is with Nerdy and you kill him for his fireworks, so you can impress your own girlfriend.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is fucked up.
Posted by damyano at March 6, 2007 11:39 PM