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April 30, 2007
Grimy and weary
Well if that wasn't just a seriously involved bit of faire weekend for only being there one of the two days. Of course I did go out on Friday for kids day, which was nowhere near the nightmare we always dread and I even fattened up the fundage. So that was the first real bit of work I've done at faire so far. Normally I'm all warmed up by now and ready to go get em by Saturday again. This year though I'm all achey and tired and ready to hop in the shower and sluice this evil sunblock-infused layer of dust off of me. I believe tomorrow will be the customary recovery day.
Filed under "Faire warning" by damyano at 02:10 AM | Comments (0)
April 28, 2007
Bukkake brand milk
It's just so entirely wrong. I found this at superdeluxe.com and I had to share. NSF anything.
Filed under "Filthy Beast" by damyano at 08:05 PM | Comments (1)
April 21, 2007
You may call him Mr. Blot
I got called into a chatroom the other day by one of the Ref's in a game I just got accenpted to. You know, like in a flash - and now suddenly I gotta discuss this, um, still kinda half-assed character idea.
I caught the ad for it while browsing Other in the available worlds on the Portal. I keep forgetting the name - Dangerous Skies over... Va-something - but it had a nice open-ended fantasy type of character introduction based around a ship's crew theme. And they did say we could play any race, as long as we're not talking demi-gods here. Wait! I saved the intro deal for when I was working on Demetrius initially. Peep this out:
The year is 28 AE (Age of the Empire) and there seems to be peace over the land...
It has been twenty-eight years since the Valorisan Imperial Navy spread the emperor's message of enlightenment throughout the known world, even to the shores of Evera. The Emperor Tynelus had had a vision to bring to the world a higher order of peace. He wanted to stop the grievous crimes happening all over because there was no justice and no proper law. When the Empire came to Evera there was some unrest and fear but many followed the benevolent Emperor Tynelus and his vision. The Empire grew and with it, the economy. With its message of peace came new technology also. The Valorisans had engineered an airship run by elemental power. This made travel across the Empire much easier and new trade commenced. Things were going well.
Well, mostly. One fateful day, Tynelus fell ill and died mysteriously soon after. Tynelus had a fanatical son named, Tynes, who claimed the throne immediately following his father’s death. He took his fathers vision for Valorisa and perverted it. Now, even a mere slip of the tongue or gossip could send you to jail, or even get you killed if the Magistrate was in a mood. You had to watch every move you made and every word you said. Even the nobility was not safe, and being in the heart of the Empire had to tread even more carefully. Folk living in the outskirts of the Empire or in farther regions had it much easier. They didn’t have to worry about an Imperial guard or spy listening in on their conversations.
On the island kingdom of Evera, rumors began spreading that airship captains tired of being boarded by the Imperial Navy for inspections were beginning to fight back. Some saw these as just stories, and yet the number of Imperial ships in the region seems to be less than usual. When some citizens inquired as to the where abouts of loved ones who serve aboard some of the missing naval ships, the stories they received were conflicting. Some would say that the ships had been redeployed to a different patrol route, and yet others would let it slip that many strange storms had been popping up in the area, making it hard to travel in the region. These mysterious storms only seemed to occur when merchant ships were in the same area...
One day a notice appears in the town square:
Have you always craved and wondered about a life aboard an airship? We run a respectable merchant ship and we are in need of crew members! This is an excellent opportunity for anyone who wants to work with others and make a little money. Come to the Skyport in Voranit, the Capitol City of Evera, at 2 in the after Nin to see if we have a job for you!
We Need: Magi, Techs, Smiths, and a Bookie,
Apply in Person!
You see the insignia of a Crimson Dragon Wing and the address of the Skyport.
Well, now you are gonna go apply aren’t you?!
Character Creation: (Please remember to make your character using the “Other” rule system.)
All we need is a pretty good history and a detailed description of your character.
Your history should give us a general idea of what kind of abilities/powers your character possesses. You should pick one of the ship ‘jobs’ posted in the ad (Magi, Techs, Scribe, Smiths, Bookie, and Cook) because your character needs something to do on the ship!
Magi: Basically Magic Users who help with keeping the ship in the air and/or fighting off other opponents in the air. Although everyone can know some magic in general this is purely for the sake of the ship job!
Techs: Basically the same thing as the Magic users but they use technology and engineering to keep everything running ship-shape instead of Magic.
Scribe: Handles any written work needed aboard. Not necessarily everyone is educated in reading/writing.
Smiths: No guns or artillery but plenty of swords and other metals that need working so we need a smith. (Crossbows too!)
Bookie: Good with numbers. You are basically the Ship’s treasurer. You keep track of any treasure/goods on the ship
Cook: Pretty self explanatory… everyone needs to eat mate!
If your character can play an instrument or sing that is more then welcome also as we need entertainment to keep moral up!
So pick one of these for your characters job!
Also your character needs some kind of weapon or fighting magic. (Not absolutely necessary but if your character doesn’t fight they need to be able to do something else then: heal, defense, etc.)
Some things to keep in mind:
*Your character can be ANY race as long as their powers are below that of a Demi-god. (Within reason y’know?)
* We are in an age without guns or artillery – Crossbows ok! Magic ok!
* PLEASE, No characters who think ‘I am god’s gift to mankind and you are all swine’ who hates everyone ok? That’s what we have NPC’s for. :)
* Also, we are keeping this game PG/PG-13 so there will be minor innuendo and language but no graphics, text, or adult scenarios played out (This includes chat also!).
* If you cuss, make up some words to do it. (frak, dreel… and that sort of thing) We want this game to be good clean fun for everyone! :D
If you have any questions or want to contact a Ref [blah blah email].
Note the underlined position. After I checked it out, seeing as I was accepted already, I looked thru the public appearance blocks on everyone else. There is near a dozen of us. Oy... Nobody else was playing a Bookie.
I did polish Demetrius up before I subbed him to the game. He's still half-assed but there is enough there to work with. He's a shadow demon, only he's not evil. It's such an embarrassment to his parents. He grew up to be, an accountant!
Filed under "Head games" by damyano at 05:31 PM | Comments (1)
April 16, 2007
Uh oh...
It's on. Right now. Kids in the Hall. Filed under...
Filed under "Brain candy" by damyano at 04:33 AM | Comments (0)
Temporarily out of service
That's what it said on the little cardboard squares scattered around the pump at the gas station - in black on one side and red on the other. I picked one up as I came out of the mini mart with my breakfast this morning on our way out to Faire in Exile. I mean Irwindale. It was just me and the girls today, because Wolf wanted to sleep all day.
It alternated between sunny and nippy, with a little bit of the spitting. Didn't seem to be a big day. As I was not on the schedule, I decided it would be best to take a hang out day. I was in costume (well mostly, still had to put on the suck shoes), so I could practice standing around and talking at people. It's getting all differenty, and we fear change. Despite all the nonsense though it was still a nice day. Had a good time catching up with people again, walking around and stretching my legs, seeing what places have moved to where - pretty busy for a free day.
I think I've managed to put on the costume well. I was surprised that I could manage some basic juggling, not having practiced since just a brief stint during my cameo at Northern. Thanks to Lazlo I now have a pistol to tuck under my belt (and hopefully not lose), only now I gotta figure out how to use it as an effective prop. You know, without accidentally putting someone's eye out.
So next weekend, maybe only Sunday since the Saturday thing is in the maybe zone, I should actually be doing the carny bark for reals. Ahh, springtime.
Filed under "Faire warning" by damyano at 01:45 AM | Comments (0)
April 14, 2007
Tangential obsession
See, what is it with these dollar value card games jumping into my damn hands? Laz takes me to the comic shop and he spots the $1 City of Heroes CCG - and now here I am with enough cards to make 2 tight decks but the craving... for more... Gah!
I even looked around online to see what could be found and whether they were rarities or something people are trying to get loose from. (Seems more the former than the latter. Of course.) Not that I'm really going to order a bunch of these things online, but it's a good way to gauge possible cheapie finds. So now that's what, 4 of these damn collectible card things I'm looking out for? If I find some with a special edition tin I am doomed.
Filed under "Brain candy" by damyano at 04:21 AM | Comments (0)
April 11, 2007
The number 23 and movies, only without the comedian guy to muck it all up
Holy crap I've seen two movies on the big screen in such close proximity. Okay wait, no that's three movies but in two sittings, and one of them had a 3 in the title. Yeah, it all ties together I promise.
Anyway, Grindhouse was the double feature of the Santa Maria weekend project - Laz and Shygirl (tho she had to bail out cuz she'd been feelin puny... aw!) and Wolf and I pocketed in burgers and liquor. I didn't drink any in the theater though. I didn't need to. We'd been playing Cthulhu 500 as a drinking game earlier and I was still well on my swerve. I had a great time. I laughed my ass off. Planet Terror is amazingly funny and so very B. The intermissions were pretty cool. Death Proof was good and worth it, but it kinda got on this long Tarantino conversation loop. After about the 4th chatty chat setup I was nearly ready to shout out "Will somebody please throw a pie!" or something. It still pays off though, so don't fret about that.
Then tonight the Tornado and I nearly had the theater for ourselves for the 300. Let me get this out of the way:
Woof.
Okay. That was a pretty damn good watch. The fights are really bitchin' and it was just really great to look at. So worth the big screen treatment - this is one reason I'm so particular about what I see on the big white wall. It does get a tad on the heavy handed, hammy deliveries, especially when you know they're about to set up a portrait shot, but still - so pretty.
And leather jockstraps.
Filed under "Brain candy" by damyano at 04:39 AM | Comments (1)
I swear it was Casa de Culo
So I'm at the Tornado's joint right now and we're just sort of noodling around Google and other random shit. We've come up with a nice, not necessarily safe for work but certainly not boobies flopping around in a hypnotic fashion, type link. Sorry about that. The boobies, I mean.
It's a news article, and it contains the following quote, which is amusing.
"Authorities have seized the sword, which Van Heren claims is a family heirloom. If convicted, Van Heren could serve up to 33 months in jail."
Filed under "Filthy Beast" by damyano at 02:43 AM | Comments (0)
April 10, 2007
Family stuff, but not bitching
Okay, so this requires a little setup. My niece is hyperactive and quite a handful. Her father is no longer with her mother, who is my sister. Instead, she and my sister have been living in the crowded insanity of my mom's house for most of her life. My sister just recently moved. That's your setup. I may have told you this already, but today I got more of the story, so click on if you're interested.
See, the situation of my niece living in the house of crowdage wasn't good because she needed attention, and she wasn't getting the right brand of it there. I'm not saying it's a bad environment, but it wasn't one that was working for her. So when I found out that her mom had moved without her, and that she would be living with her father,that sort of set up a conundrum. It was great that she was getting out of a situation that wasn't working for her, and her dad treated her like a princess (long story short with that description, you'll see) so for the short term this was a good thing. Only he's a dumbass, so this is not good long term.
The hubby wasn't at all happy about this when I told him, but it's out of our control and not our life, so we just sit back and watch as things develop. But whenever the subject would come up he would just bemoan how hard things would be for her and how it hurt him to know she wasn't doing well. I just take it in stride, because I know and understand from personal experience how the notion of family in this modern era is nowhere near what it was when he was young. Dysfunction is a given now. Instead, I just try to be nice. So I made up a couple of cute Easter purses to bring with me on my trip out. (I have a niece from each of my sister, BTW. This is only tangentially important.)
Now of course I have to make a call out to the fam to let them know I'm flying into town. I talk to my other sister, the usual chatty-chatty shit, and finally get around to asking her how often said niece comes around for a visit. It turns out that it's never. Not because her father is being a shit or anything, but that she's moved out of state to be with her mother. Well now, isn't that an interesting turn of events? This means I have to break into the box I was sending to Cali and take her version of the Easter purse out so I can send it separate to South Carolina. No address though, and like a bad little procrastinator I didn't call to get it until the day of my flight out. We'll skip the mildly amusing middle part of the story (except I must relate that my nephew - being the niece in question's older half-brother - sounds like a full on bubba now - it's hilarious!) and cut to my sister calling me while we're driving to the airport. It turns out that she loves it out there. Loves her job, loves her house, loves the area - just perfectly pleased to be where she is. Wonderful. I'm ecstatic. But still nothing about the niece situation. (Although it's not like I can have a lengthy conversation while I'm driving.)
Cut to me, at my mom's house, earlier this day. I'm telling her bits and pieces of the above, and she fills me in on the finer details. It turns out that the only reason my niece stayed back in Cali with her daddy is because he put a guilt trip on her about how he would be all alone if she left. The situation she ended up in with him was as bad as - no in fact it was most certainly worse than where she was before. And now he's being all pissy about the fact that she doesn't call him (he can't call her, cuz he has no long distance) when all he ever does when they do talk is put more guilt bullshit on her. Damn! The girl ain't even in her teens yet. So fuck that guy.
It turns out that she's doing well now with her mother. She's getting good grades in school. She's getting attention and dogs to play with. I have a feeling if she can get past some of the troubling inconveniences of her childhood she might find some of those inconveniences amusing in the long run. In any case, I'm just glad to hear that she is happy.
Filed under "Places other than Texas" by damyano at 03:54 AM | Comments (0)
Again with the MySpace survey
I was going to copy the 80s survey and put it here (and I still might in the next day or two), but this one caught my eye.
The Dirty Thirty... 30 unknown facts/secrets about yourself:
1. In two words, explain what ended your last relationship?
Penis happened.
2. When was the last time you shaved your legs?
Nope.
3. What were you doing this morning at 8am?
Probably snoring.
4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Cleaning gunk out of my ears.
5. Are you any good at math?
I do well enough.
6. Last night?
I got into Rialto from Santa Maria, found out my damn email box is blocked up, and eventually gave in and crashed.
7. Do you have any famous ancestors?
None that I am aware of.
8. Have you ever taken out a loan to pay for school?
Yeah, right.
9. While having sex, and your partner is almost doing something you really REALLY like, how do you inform them the need to move an inch to the left?
"Hey! Move an inch to the left. NO, my left, not your left. Go the other way, dammit!" [Okay, so no this never really happens.]
10. Last thing you received in the mail?
A statement from my broker, that I am unlikely to read or pay any attention to ever.
11. How many different beverages have you drank today?
I had water today. Don't get too excited now.
12. How many friends do you have?
Plenty.
13. What is your default picture a picture of?
This is a MySpace specific question, so if you can't figure out how to find me there then you won't know what a psychohazard sign looks like.
14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
I have before, but it's not like I'm compelled by Satan's voice to do it every time I end up on wet sand. Satan prefers that I bake cookies.
15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
Yeah...
16. What is outside of your back door?
A small square slab of back porch concrete with a rail and a step.
17. Any plans for Friday night?
Try not to stay up way too late so I can possibly make it out to Faire. Or get really drunk for no reason and see if I can dart me a hot straight guy and give him a night he'll pay therapists thousands of dollars to forget.
18. Do you like the ocean?
Actually yes, but I don't think I'm likely to swim in it much more. It's getting kinda grody.
19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?
Oh yes. In fact, we got one with a lid that made it look like an old milk can, and it has cows on it, and now I use it to keep my socks in because there is no room in the dresser. Aw, how handy!
20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
Nope. I imagine it would be fun while stoned. Most things are.
22. Something you are excited about?
Right this moment I'm kind of short on the excitement factor.
23. What is your favorite jello flavor?
Slime balls - lime jello shooters with Midori in them. If it doesn't have booze in it I'm not particularly keen on jello because I don't like the texture.
24. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
I don't think so, but you never know.
25. Describe your keychain?
It's a dog choke chain with a cheezy combo lock on one ring so I can clip it to a belt loop if I want to and look all cool and rebel. On the other ring it has 3 disconnectable rings, one with the pickup keys attached to a fish keyring, one with the car key attached to an orange 5-ball keyring, and one with the housekeys attached to a Fossil keyring. Because I'm cool like dat!
26. Where do you keep your change?
Right now, in my carryon bag. But normally at home I keep it in a Tootsie Roll bank til I get around to rolling it up and converting it to paper money.
27. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
I try not to do that, but as it turns out I will be doing something in that vein probably this weekend.
28. What kind of winter coat do you have?
I have a couple winter coats, and some winter coveralls. Sporty!
29. What is your Favorite color?
Dark hues - blue mostly but also green and purple.
30. Can you tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue?
Sort of. I mean it's a half assed job to be sure, and not at all indicative of what you think it is indicative of. We're not going there.
Filed under "Questionable behavior" by damyano at 03:29 AM | Comments (0)
April 09, 2007
Long week
Holy crap! I was up in Santa Maria for a bit over a week and I barely saw anything past Laz and Shygirl's new place. Sushi, Gladius, City of Heroes CCG, Cthulhu 500 (which is an intensely bitchin' card game that you want to play), beer, rum, the Producers, The Cake Man Was Not Meant to Eat, Teen Titans CCG, more beer, entirely nonspecific green stuff in abundance - it's amazing I'm still conscious. Yes, I had a fantastic time. Wolf came up on Friday night in time for us to hit a (near) midnight showing of Grindhouse, which was entirely worth it but also worthy of an entry on its own if I get my brain on it, and then to help us make Saturday the biggest sushi grub on I've ever had the fortune to lay teeth on.
Tomorrow - recovery and the fam...
Filed under "Mixed bag" by damyano at 03:48 AM | Comments (0)