April 28, 2007
Bukkake brand milk
It's just so entirely wrong. I found this at superdeluxe.com and I had to share. NSF anything.
Filed under "Filthy Beast" by damyano at 08:05 PM | Comments (1)
April 11, 2007
I swear it was Casa de Culo
So I'm at the Tornado's joint right now and we're just sort of noodling around Google and other random shit. We've come up with a nice, not necessarily safe for work but certainly not boobies flopping around in a hypnotic fashion, type link. Sorry about that. The boobies, I mean.
It's a news article, and it contains the following quote, which is amusing.
"Authorities have seized the sword, which Van Heren claims is a family heirloom. If convicted, Van Heren could serve up to 33 months in jail."
Filed under "Filthy Beast" by damyano at 02:43 AM | Comments (0)
March 08, 2007
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Why is it that every time I find a Jack Radcliffe clip there is no sound? I keep hearing from various sources that he has a goofy voice (one compares him to Kermit the frog - how flattering!), but I guess I'll never know. This is annoying the hell out of me, because silence is just plain sucky. No pun intended, of course.
Filed under "Filthy Beast" by damyano at 09:41 AM | Comments (0)
March 06, 2007
Naughty
I've had just enough beer to decide I'm gonna go ahead and post this. Mind you, it's about porn and entirely filthy, so if you object to such material you should not read this. Really, I'm not kidding. This is your one and only warning.
Okay, I have to say it. See, until relatively recently I've been basically deprived of bear oriented porn. Anything in the realm that I would be interested in would be an accidental sighting of some woofy type guy that managed to sneak into an otherwise total twink fest. And then high-speed internet came into my life just at the time that particularly handy links to video clips materialized.
Why in the fuck do these guys say "grrr" out loud? I'm not joking here - I have seen (heard) it multiple times, practically in every movie. One of these dudes, usually the bottom, says "grrr." And I don't mean some growly sound that one approximates through onomatopoeia (that is a hard word to spell!), they actually say "grrr." It's really, really hard to maintain that special suspension of disbelief that one needs with porn and the wacky setups they come up with when you're giggling your ass off because some guy said "grrr." Now I can deal with maybe one per flick. Maybe. But some of these guys keep on doing it like it's hot. No, it's not. It makes me think you take this bear thing waaaaaay too seriously. If you must, please just make a growly sound. Don't say "grrr."
And here's another thing that gets me - the stealth rubber. I know the porno people are trying to be responsible and promote the use of the love glove in their dirty flicks, but if you're going to promote such a thing you might want to try making an erotic example of how one is used. I have yet to see it. Either they just sort of put the thing on, or they do the stealth rubber thing. This is TMI if the whole gay thing works your nerves, but right now I don't care enough to spare anyone - if you clicked the 'read more' link you are asking for it. See, in several of these flicks the guy on top will start rubbing his wanger up against the bottom's hole in a rather frotty fashion. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, there's a rubber on his pecker and he's going for gold. WTF?! Is it too much trouble to show him rolling on the raincoat? Then when they're done (or close to, anyway) the rubber has disappeared and he's going for the money shot. I have occasionally seen the top guy whip the rubber off before he finishes off, but more often than not the rubber just magically disappears. That is so stupid. I know it might be a little unsexy to show condoms, but you could at least try to eroticize the damn things so guys would be a little more inclined to use them.
Oh yeah, the money shot. How I hate them! Well, maybe hate is too strong a word. They do tend to get on my nerves though. There have been several occasions where, after a bout of good (or even mediocre) action, the top pulls out and I'm treated to several minutes (sometimes up to 10 for fuck's sake!) of this guy stroking and stroking and trying to get off so the camera can see orgasmic evidence, and I'm left shouting "cum you fucking moron or get off the stage!" Look, if I wanted to watch some dumbass jerking off I could do it myself in front of a mirror and save myself some bandwidth. There have been rare occasions when I've seen a hot guy diddling his wiener and found it erotic, but for the most part I don't want to watch masturbation. It's a total yawn fest. I understand some guys get off on that sort of thing, but do we really have to have it in every fucking scene?
And my final gripe about the porn genre - voice overs. These aren't so prevalent in the bear porn genre, because guys into the bear thing are also into the reality thing - real sex sounds over the real sex. I can dig on this. I don't care too much about the music, as long as it doesn't totally overpower what's going or or distract me with hellish cheesifaction. But I found this link to a clip that was all about some stupid 70s style retro action. Which means voice overs - they do the fucking in front of the camera, then the two guys make grunty noises afterwards that are supposed to synch up with the action. They don't, they never will, don't ever do this again. It's stupid. It's painfully stupid. It makes me lose the will to live. Stop it! It was excusable back in the day because porn technology was primitive. We have digital media now; we have microphones that you can use at the same time as a camera now; we have editing now, just in case someone makes a sound that you don't care for. And it's all cheap, trust me.
So there - that's a brief overview on my opinions on porn. If you didn't giggle at least once, you probably shouldn't have read it in the first place.
Filed under "Filthy Beast" by damyano at 06:47 AM | Comments (1)